I find myself thinking alot, of late, about marriage. Thanks in large measure to the California Supreme Court ruling allowing same-sex marriage. As children we are taught the ideal of falling in love with and marrying the person of your dreams. This is true even for those of us who gradually (or not so gradually) come to realize that the people we are attracted to and fall in love with are people of the same gender. It seems that for a large portion of the non-LGBT population, these two ideas are and must remain mutually exclusive. As disappointing and heart-breaking as it was, I came to accept the fact that American society, as a whole, was not and would not become enlightened enough for me to marry the man of my dreams. It was even more disappointing when I actually found him (or did he find me?!?!).
Now, more than 19 years after we first met, it has become a reality in some locations, that two men or two women can get married. Viva la revolución! Will Chuck and I take advantage of the California Supreme Court ruling to get married? I would like us to but it would be little more than a symbolic gesture for us. (I doubt that Indiana will join that bandwagon any time soon.)
The most curious aspect, to me, of the debate for or against same-sex marriage is the idea that the marriage of one couple can have a negative impact (or any impact) on the marriage of another couple. I just don't understand how any marriage can impact any other marriage. If those people using such arguments were truly concerned about the impact of other marriages on their own then they should get equally worked up about any and all divorces. Surely, another couple ending their marriage would have a greater impact than two men or two women starting a marriage. How can two men or two women soberly and thoughtfully entering into a marriage be more harmful than a man and a woman getting married and then annulling that marriage 56 hours later? Rant much, Rick?
2 comments:
Rick,
I have always thought that it would be nice if you could get married and have it be reconized by everyone as a "normal" thing. Personally (as a woman married to a man and your sister) I don't see what there is to get upset about. You and Chuck love each other treat each other with respect and if you want to get married then you should be able to without anyone else sticking thier nose or opinion into it. So I'll just say that if you do get married I'll do everything I can to make sure I can witness the event. I would be proud and honored to be at your wedding. And of course knowing me I'll need a box of tissues cause I cry at everything (all of them would be tears of joy!)
Love you!
Sara
What put me 100% in favor of same-sex marriage was the juxtaposition of hetero- and homosexual marriage possibilities. My aunt Mary Anne was with one woman from junior high until she died at 51. They were much happy than many "straight" couples I knew--especially my parents. They couldn't legally get married. OTOH, during my years of bar-hopping, I could pick up a woman in a bar, go home with her and have hours of sex. In the morning, we could show up in a judge's chambers and ask to be married, and it would be all legal.
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